The Sunday “Sermon from the Closet”

Good yontif my family and friends:

“There is after all a kind of happiness in unhappiness, if it’s the right unhappiness”………………………………Jonathan Franzen

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water”…………………………………………………Robindranath Tagare

“Now that Koreans

are the “New Jews”, the old Jews

can leave for Boca.”……………………………………………………………………………………………Haikus for Jews

 

So last Sunday, post-blog, we finished the last project standing (ya think?) and completed the basement flooring project…a floor on rollers…really!!!…..Twas a really rainy day, so heeded for afternoon naps, but with weather clearing, Jenn went out to mow with the tractor. She proceeded to totally flood the engine, called me to play Galahad, which I promptly made much worse- trying to start it so many times, that it eventually spouted geysers of both gas and oil. So – left it there bleeding fluids and turned attention to trying to fix Jenn’s car’s electrical problems with the expert assistance of the Jewish Fish Monger. Three hours later- we have pulled half the engine parts to get to headlights (there may indeed be two clips which would allow us to simply remove it from the front…)…with no success and a lots of parts to put back together. So- we left that too ..and went to eat Chinese and see a movie.

These are on my list for today, but beg the philosophical question of whether a Bronx- bred boy should really ever have a wrench in his hand?

With the various engine parts laying in the barn, Jenn’s’ new master planting project about to erupt, and the threat of a massive house cleaning project looming….it was clearly time for the Marriott, so I set out for the trek to Philadelphia (honestly, for work!) on Tuesday morning. Have I mentioned my belief about the incredible business acumen associated with loyalty programs? I’m a devout parishioner at the church of both Marriott and Southwest airlines..…which leads to some really bad decisions in travel in pursuit of being on their “A Lists”. This one involved not only driving the 2 ½ hours to Manchester (it is not an easy task to get out of Vermont), but then passing up a direct flight on the hated big-boy airlines in order to express my undying loyalty to Southwest- by taking a flight to Baltimore, a shuttle to the train station and then the Amtrak to the 30th St. Station in Philly(go there, it’s a beauty). All of this took me around eight hours of planes, trains and automobiles…….but ultimately led to three quiet nights at the Marriott, some great walks, two good days of training,….and, of course, some major eating. With nose in the air, I meandered the streets of old city Philly, till the fragrance of the legendary Fourth Street Famous Jewish deli harkened. Ate there three times, before waddling home on Friday. Did I mention cheesesteaks in Philly? “Nuff’ said- go to Sonny’s on Market St.

After a harrowing Amtrak ride back to Baltimore (f__k the loyalty programs) and the resulting OJ like sprint to the airport gate, I arrived back in Manchester on a beautiful Fall day- so took the overland mountain route home- instead of the endless highway….and Fall is abounding in the mountains (already!) –especially around lovely Lake Sunapee…majestic……..

As a result of complicated planning, I drove home Friday afternoon, napped, ate, played with the Dog and the Jenn, watched the finale of Twin Peaks (most bizarre show ever to grace the small screen) and got up Saturday to drive back to Manchester for the Super-secret arrival of Sister Jane for Jenn’s birthday. This involved an elaborate hoax about my friend Phil coming for a visit on his way to vacation in Maine- ostensibly staying with us a few nights and then being picked up by wife, Maux, on her way back from painting icons in the Adirondacks (really was elaborate, no??). On the trip down to the airport, the magic of Facebook rears its ugly social media head, when Phil posts about being a in a café in Mass.- but quick thinking led to the ridiculous idea (which Jenn bought) that he must be flying from Philly through Boston (who would take such a route?). So- we managed to pick up Jane and absolutely shock a waiting Jenn- who immediately began to sob and whirl in circles.

Sister Jane loves the ocean (and is totally landlocked in the heartland)- so we slipped onto the 101 and hit the coast of New Hampshire beaches in in what may have been the finest day of the entire summer (72, sunny, no wind, cloudless sky). Many long walks across the sand, a shocking amount of surfers for NH (can you say hurricane effect waves), a fish shack lunch, Lucy befriending a dozen snarling beach dogs, Maple Creamees…and nine hours later..…we arrived back through the NH mountains to the little house on the hill. An elaborate, exhausting and wonderful surprise day.

So- now after a three hour tractor repair break, I’m back. You’ll be delighted (and probably shocked) to know the darn thing is actually running after taking the carburetor apart and replacing all the starting parts….and cleaning up a gallon of spilled oil and gas…followed by a dozen or so “Hail Marys”. . Is it possible that Yiddish- bred city boys can actually fix a tractor? Chests are puffing out here…..

Now – you may be wondering about the beginning and the title of this week’s missive? (maybe? did you notice?). So – Sister Jane tells me that she eagerly awaits each Sunday blog as it is like her church …and she considers me a Preacher of sorts, composing my little “Sermons “ in my closet of an office. I like that a lot…so heretofore –will consider myself composing not only a Blog, but a weekly sermon (from the closet)…(is that a metaphor?)…..

Well- have to go back and change the oil again, now that Jenn has gleefully ridden around the yard for an hour…keep our fingers crossed…and see you next week in church….

 

Monsignor Stuard

 

 

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