Category: Green Mountain Blog

Welcome to this Apocalyptic Post- Modern Sunday:

“When the cart stops, do you whip the cart or the ox?” …………………………………………………………………………………. Huai- Jung

“I fix nothing, I let it go” ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Jean-Paul Sartre

“Ashes to ashes, dust into dust, Buildings will crumble, bridges will rust. Mountains will disappear, rivers will dry up. And so it goes with everything but love” ……………………………John Denver

You would think that with staying at home for the most part, there would be little to say…which is probably true…but not really prohibitive for such as we….

Let’s get back to it…. NOW……how many of you are going out to restaurant? A bar? a gym?………….maybe a little overdue haircut or get the old nails done? Let’s all just go out and see how quickly we can infect each other…. maybe take a rifle or a Swastika to show what we are made of…. c’mon people now, smile on your brother………………

The Granddaughter update- Quin-Lily turned three this past week….have not seen her in months but we have our twice weekly portal….this week she evicted her parents from the room, and in between bedtime stories asked Nana and Papi …”how was your day today?”….three is interesting….littlest Baby Harper, is growing like a weed…not seen her since week one…..Virus-strain!!!!!!!!!!!!!….Bebe Sloane continues to be our lifeline (along with her parents) and this week we babysat while Tess and Jake went on a contact-less date…she led us in circles for three hours…what an age  to watch the bloomin’….

How about a little Obamagate? We count on the Moron-in- Chief for our daily dose of laughter in hard times……. but seriously?

The weekly drive in da country……………………..Headed east this week on an overcast and threatening day (thunderstorm season in the heartland)….counted the % of people wearing masks (going down)and the number of people with big tractors mowing their small yards (going up)…and found a little trail to take a silent walk…..did the contactless lunch stop , and watched the birds….Ohio has a subtle beauty in the coming of spring and farm season…not quite like driving around in the Greens…..but you gotta get out of the house once in a while…right?

Three houses and counting…. we are total indentured (or maybe dentured?) slaves to our houses…keeps us pretty busy during The Plague…….are pretty settled now in the new abode….and spending a lot of time trying to make the old homestead more sellable…..this week we had new carpet put in all the rooms from Guy The Capet Guy….who has poor social distancing boundaries…so when we met with him we had to set up a card table on the driveway and wear our masks and gloves….but it was CHEAP…even though we had to spend two hours cleaning up after the mess they made. Yesterday we spent the whole day painting and staining over at the homestead like a couple of 40 yard olds…our yard boy canceled on us last minute ..so we had to do it selves…which led to much moaning, creaking and drug taking…..The Queen got through the day by chanting her own little Haiku as she brushed and rolled:

“Working-working on old house,

      We fight……then we get it done” ………………………………………………………Her form is not great, but you get the idea…. partly brought on by yours truly getting the old beast resurrected tractor (given last rites an ten year ago and ignored since) stuck in the giant mud ruts in the soaked side yard…for the THIRD time this week….and since we have to fucking social distance –could not ask for help…and had to push it out ourselves…this left TQ a bit perturbed with moi (and very muddy in sexy sort of way) …

Seems like time to think in earnest about heading back to the Greens…. recently named best state in old US of A in staying out of the way of The Plague….in Mt. holly, we are social distanced by definition….

And that my friends…is enough

Pablo

Welcome to Corona-land:

“Does anybody really know what time it is; does anybody really care” ……………………………………………………………………. Robert Lamm (Chicago Transit Authority)

“He gets up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir / So that every mouth can be fed………Ah, Ah, Ah…The Israelites” ………………. Desmond Dekker

“While I am busy with little things, I am not required to do greater things” …………………………………………………………………………………Sir Francis De Sales

Happy Mother’s Day to all, for whom the Foo shits. Since I can’t really even fathom what day it is anymore, it is difficult to conjure a Blog about the past week…. what should I say? …………………got up…took a shit……let Lucy out…let Lucy in…. checked my e-mail…. made an English muffin…. had another small shit…made a few calls……hung some pictures…. searched for missing items The Queen has hidden in her baskets………talked to the realtor…..took a nap…read a book…mowed the yard to keep up with the neighbors’ four times a week mowing…took a faux shit(just gas)….Blah, Blah, Blah….you got the point..

So, what to do? How about The Blogs’ TOP FIVE Coronaesque Good, Bad and Ugly??????????…. Yes, Yes…. please Ferlin’…tell us about the TG, TB&TU

THE GOOD (editors’ license to name six)

1. No Schedule to conform to
2. Netflix, Prime TV, PBS, HBO, Showtime
3. Having TWO HOUSES to work on to keep us busy (not to mention a third to keep track of)
4. Family time-seeing Bebe Sloane (and her parents) 2- times week ……Max being here for seven weeks
5. Zoomin’
6. The surprising and virtuous leadership of Cuomo, DeWine, Newsom, Whitmer…and all the Governors who have stepped up to fill The Void

THE BAD (even more editors’ license)

1. No Schedule to conform to
2. No Sports…not even Pro Bowling to watch
3. Little Income
4. Not seeing Quin-Lily and New Baby Harper (and their parents) …and Max going home
5. No GYM
6. Waiting for on line orders to get here (Amazon excepted)
7. Losing John Prine

THE UGLY

1. The pathetic leadership from the White House and all its Talking Heads
2. All The M
3. “ME” people- buying all the TP and disinfectant wipes, gun carrying twats demanding their personal freedoms
4. All forms of HazMat Gear
5. 24/7….and I mean 24/7 for months …… with your loved one

Had a birthday last week…. presents from friends and family keep dribbling in as the efficiency of the beleaguered mail systems will allow…. Jennifer yesterday received an overdue package and gave me a poster (which we spend 2-3 hours fighting about where to put up) that probably says it all about RELATIONSHIPS in the Time of Corona:

                                                                      In spite of ourselves…………We’ll end up a’ sittin’ on a rainbow
                                                                     Against all odds…………Honey, we’re the big door prize

                                                                     We’re gonna spite our noses……………Right off of our faces
                                                                     There won’t be nothin’ but big old hearts…………Dancin’ in our eyes.

That’s all she wrote (“Dear John- please send my saddle home”)…………………………….Stay Safe

Stu-Ber

Greetings Mask-Wearers:

“You beat the grass and probe the Principle

Only to see into your nature.

Right now…. where is your nature?” …………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Zen Koan

“A permanent state of transition is man’s most noble condition” ………………………………………………………………Juan Ramon Jimenez

Who’s makin’ love to your old lady…. while you are out makin’ love?” ………………………………………………………. Johnnie Taylor

In honor of the recent Passover (quite late as usual) …an extremely lapsed (maybe even disappeared) Jew, offers Ten (maybe twelve) questions for this Sunday’s sermon. Answers below you can match to the question:

1. Should we be reopening our states amidst the Virus concerns?
2. What do you do when you have 244 pieces of art to hang in your new house and can’t agree on any of it?
3. What is it like to have dozens of masked people go through your house and tell you everything they don’t like about it?
4. Is it safer to go back to Vermont during The Plague or stay put in Ohio?
5. What kind of role model is Mr. Pence when he refuses to wear a mask in a major medical facility that requires anyone entering to wear one?
6. What does one do on their birthday during Quarantine?
7. What does Lucy do when she is freed up from her new fenced home and gets to go nuts back at the old homestead?
8. How cute are toddler granddaughters?
9. What happens when you can’t get a haircut for months?
10. Should you wear a mask to go to the toilet?
11. Is Zoom better than Sex?
12. Why is this year different than all other years?

Answers…or not….

1. See the “Dirty Girl” picture
2. Such a wonderful opportunity to spend time with your loved one(s)
3. Why not? Only 233K more people projected to die by the end of June as a result
4. Tell them to F___ Off
5. Blow up your TV throw away your paper, Go to the country, build you a home, Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches, Try an’ find Jesus on your own
6. It will mess up his hair, for Chrissakes.
7. Depends on the quality of your internet connection
8. A picture tells a thousand words
9. Tie up The Queen and start hanging…
10. Not if there is someone in there waving a gun and ranting about their freedom to choose
11. Does The Pond wait for anyone?
12. You revert to Your Sixties CHE look

And that my friends….is ENOUGH!!!

Papi

Good morning star shine……. The Earth says Hello…………

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple” ………………………………………………………………. Oscar Wilde

“Let what comes come. Let what goes go. Find out what remains.” ……………………………Ramara Maharshi

“You have got to shitting me!!!!!” ………………………………………………………………………………. Yours Truly

So what do you do when you are sitting in Central Ohio under lock down, and it’s the time to return to The Inn at Scum Pond? And, what do you do after six weeks of barely leaving the house? And, what do you when it’s just one more cold and rainy April day in the Heartland?

I’d say…………………………………………… it’s time for……………………… some Bloggish……………………………NO?

First, and foremost, I hope you are all well-and staying safe. We are not aware of anyone we know having contracted the scourge…and hopefully it has stayed that way. Wear your masks, wash your hands, stay home as much as possible.

I am really out of practice with this, and not sure anyone really (except maybe Sister Jane who has patiently waited months for a sermon) wants to hear notes from the heartland…. but it is Sunday morning after all…and I need something to do. So, a short starter update. Feeling a little rusty….  and feeling a little anxious (picture Beetlejuice) ………………………

We have not left the house, for the most part, for six weeks….so I currently have The Queen tied up in the closet after being together 7/24 for 985 straight hours……

The Prodigal braved a flight to San Diego on Thursday after being stranded here for seven weeks when the shit hit the fan during his five-day visit for Tess’s birthday in early March…. now back home and quarantined….

We get to see Tess, Jake and Bebe 2-3 times a week…and that is our social contact…. the kids monitor us daily to ensure we have not had other contacts …they are the Virus Police……Bebe has grown into a little person (a mensch) …dashing around and creating picture opps at every turn in the last few months…and can now say Nana and Papi…. we are all missing Max after the most time together in a few decades……

Downside on grandkids is that we don’t get to see our equally beloved Quin-Lily in Cleveland …we could be shot crossing the county border….and our newest little angel, Harper……the scourge strikes again

Jen and I are recovering well after downing a quart of Windex at our Leaders’ advice…. feeling very clean though…. The Greeks clearly know their shit……………

As many of you know, just before everything exploded we closed on a new house……great timing….and have spent the last two months moving…finally moving in last weekend with the strong young(er) backs of Jake and Max assisting

So…now have left the Farm…for the neighborhood…quit the traumatic adjustment- one I had hoped to not make while still upright…. but it is a nice house on a quiet cul-de-sac…with four floors mind you…and only a four-minute drive to the old homestead…so we can go back and use the hot tub 2-3 times week…. we are getting pretty settled and I have recreated my office space circa 1990 (doubtless causing some form of PTSD for my old colleagues who get this) ….

The Queen has totally organized the kitchen bathroom, bedrooms and basement (she is not allowed near my office) ….and I spend my days wandering around saying “Where is ____?” …. eventually I will be able to find the toilet paper, my shoes and my checkbook…. We have also been invaded by her newest passion……BASKETS……at last count we have 83 baskets of varying shapes and sizes in every closet, drawer and shelf…all color coordinated, mind you…hopefully, this too shall pass….

We now have three houses and no income…a unique opportunity for self-reinvention…. until we can sell the old beast down the road….it may be the worst time in history to sell a house…as in who wants to go to someone else’s house for showing with the CRUD looming…. somehow, we had six showings this week…but no takers…probably a result of a soaking wet basement and yard and occasional critters roaming the walls and attic…but hopefully that too shall pass….

After every showing we wait a day and go in with our HazMat suits and a gallon container of wipes to prepare the house for the next showing….and to do laundry…no washer/dryer in new house because we don’t want to let anyone in to deliver them…. can you spell conundrum?……

So, this week I recorded (who loves Zoom?) two trainings for the Caribbean folks in Dominica……which is better than nothing, but not quite like being there…. quite the surreal experience having people do group exercises when they are not allowed to congregate…I wore my gas masks through an entire training and roped Jennifer into doing a series of role plays with me on supervising difficult people…doubtless a PTSD experience for her……

 We have removed most of our stuff out of the old homestead, but left some big ticket items for “staging”…whatever the hell that is…including our beloved sectional couch, where I had been spending the majority of my time for the last month…so now both Lucy and I are clinically depressed over nowhere to lay around….and Lucy is boycotting the fact that she now lives with a fended in yard and can no long spend her days running after chipmunks and squirrels on the back forty…but change is good….right?

Well… I said this would be short Ramble…and, as usual, I lied…. but enough is enough….

Stay in touch, be well, keep up the fight, put up a sign in your yard for Uncle Joe……change is good, right?

Your brother in arms,

Stu

PS- I cant figure out how to add pix to the blog on this new host site- so you have to look at the e-mail version for the few pics this week. Will try to get Max to help me figure out how to add media

Hell might be a Caribbean all- inclusive resort full of drunk Americans and assorted others- getting their money’s worth on food and drink all day…but more on that later….

Did I mention that no one…I mean no one puts on their car AC in the Carib…..even if its 100 plus out…….

The SL airport at 6:30 am was an experience…almost got the anal cavity search….could not explain to them what the Netty pot was for (a bomb?)…

For a laid-back culture….the Eastern Caribbean, in general, has more rules than anywhere I’ve ever been…and except for the mini terminal near our house in Vermont, this is the smallest airport ever been to…

Cab drive from Antiqua airport to hotel on south end of island….as a maze of back country roads and major league ruts…and my guy was speedy….got to hotel early…room not ready….sat by beach and had a few pina coladas (all inclusive)….finally got into room, which is the equivalent f 70s Motel six (TV mounted on the ceiling)…and no WIFI in this building!!!..you all know how that makes Papi feel…they were going to move me at some point, but I said fuck it…and decided to be limited…but with a magnificent view….from 4th floor (tenement walk up quality) balcony…

Grounds are great…great background vistas…trying to figure out how to manage two days with a bunch of drunk Americans (some Italians, and British Ilse types)..who are hellbent on getting their monies worth..

Ocean is great…found the secret small quiet pool in the back with no one there…..trying to be strength based about the whole thing…

Got at least five bureaucratic emails today from the Wash. morons…I seriously doubt at this point I ma going to be willing to come back in January…you should see the shit they send me…and never say they fucked up …let me count the ways…

Gonna run out of battery/light at the remote bar I found on far end property..…trying to weasel my way into the “ala carte Italian “ to avoid the dreaded buffet (can you say cruise ship?

Gone from endless Christmas music to endless 50s….oh boy..

How many more days?

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,

If I hear this one more time……postal…….

Learned that it really is Cair-Rah Bee-In…..not…. Carib- be- in…and everywhere I went today they had impeachment hearings on radio and tv….do we listen to what is going on in SL?…

Went to three banks and countless stops to try and get someone to change US 20’s to smaller bills….no go….I don’t want the EC currency since you get stuck with it….no changing back….ever…

No run this am—ankles too sore after two days of hills-so went to sauna- like gym…and then one more fish breakfast….then hot streets to make journey to capitol of Castries…”just take the bus, mon, it easy”….bus is actually a mini-van…twenty of them lined up…and go only when full (for buck)….trip in was fine , about 20 minutes…..but back….oy….jammed in back row between very large Caribs…smoldering for an hour of bumper to bumper….people clearly wondering who the white guy is doing this…

Castries is the REAL Carib…packed with people, dirty, loud, grimy…vendors hawking everywhere….blazing hot streets…giant market place of fish and tchotchkes….two hours of the promise of the real….was enough to decide against the potential 3 hour trek (on the bus) to the volcano…so took the cramped ride home…..jammed by the large woman next to me humming along with every Rasta Christmas song on the radio…and…all the commercial jingles…just like traveling with Jenn…

Back to hotel for a few air-conditioned work hours…and then some pool time…and then a nap…

Had Duo call with Tess and Bebe…..Bebe seemed to say “Papi”….how about THAT…….

A day late- a dollar short…went to fabled Chinese Rest. for (better late than never) Sunday dinner….Peking duck to die for….but bill 2X any other place on the island (Ten bucks extra for rice)…is that the absolute reversal ?…and though Indian dining an adjustment….all black serves in Chinese place almost pushed me over the edge…..dishes we served on little candlelit table warmers to keep them hot…liked that…. was about to leave whew when the DAILY Rain came ….two and a half minutes of hell…then gone….Could not pass up the Chinese, by the way, as it is next to the SJ Chinese Embassy……

Time to pack and get ready for next jaunt….6:30 pickup for the airport…and on to Antiqua….till then…..

Happy Day Mons and Monettes:

New Papi schedule….up at 6:30 for jog before the massive and cantankerous breakfast buffet…Sunday morn means really empty Carib streets…up to the top of the nearby hill ..to catch the view of bay and mountains the local elite have….

Making my usual front desk hotel friends pays off with someone cancelling- and getting room upgrade which allows me to stay in my room and not have to move to peasant HQ in ancient building down the resort road….…Gotten used to my little balcony facing the quiet rear….and with two fragrant eucalyptus trees…

Was back and getting ready to figure out three- bus trek to volcano when Gloria, the Eastern Carib project coordinator called me with invite to go with her to a local craft fair…did not want to pass up a local experience so said sure…..said she’d pick me up at 10:30….I forgot to consider Island time…she showed up at 11:30…and then we had to drive to her friend Anthony’s house up in the hills- since she does not drive to the other side of the island, where Fair was housed at Sandals country club…

Fair was an extraordinary mix of people of color….many of whom good-naturedly allowed me the privilege of taking their photos(check out the gallery) …and surrounded by many of the islands rich and famous……unbelievably hot today….hard to stay out of sun….got sunburned just driving with car window open….then got the grand tour of the north side of the islands beaches and back country….got to see the little land mass St. Lucia built in the 80s, connecting the original island and Pidgeon Island….a spot where you have the Caribbean on one side, and the Atlantic fifty yards away….very cool…these are the non-tourist beaches with big families setting up their cook stoves and lights to spend the night….wanna go there…away from the mass of Brits…

Finished off the day with rum and fish lunch at a very local spot in the little community of Reduit….very poor…but very real Carib….not sure they see many light folk there ….but welcomed with open arms…..Got lots of insight about life in the islands from Gloria and Anthony.

By the time I got dropped off at 4…was wasted and bloated….and lulling about ever since….trying to figure out if I can really do another meal today….was planning on traditional Sunday night Chinese…but may have to wait until tomorrow night…faux Sunday….

Still hoping to make the trek tomorrow but will see how complicated it is…..certainly making it to the capitol to see city life…

Ready to move on to Antiqua…but one more day of sun, rum and fish…

Caveat……….had dinner with the rum punches of all rum punches with my Fish………………………so….incoherence………

Papi was good today…. rose at 7….. and went to the tiny gym building for workout and 2-mile jog through the empty streets of Rodney Bay…

Then on to the massive breakfast buffet (included)….poached eggs on toast, bacon, plantains, tuna salad, fruit cup, pancakes…lasted me the whole day…skipped lunch altogether….

Brits all eating baked beans, grilled tow-mah-toes and kippers….ugggh…

From there it was on to 3 mile walk along the unbelievably touristed beach…check out the chairs…..and then back to villa…to do nothing for rest of day….napped, pool, read, filled out the start of my fed travel reimbursement forms (will need a CPA to fill this in)…figured out why so many Brits here…apparently this hotel is part of British airways package…I may be the only Yank for miles around….which seems to make every Rasta feel the need to approach me…to ask “do you need anything, mon”?…wondering what the scope of that is?….

What am l going to do for two more full days and nights?….considering a three-bus trip to Volcano tomorrow….after my new best Rasta friend (Simonet) gave me the lay of the land…and I gave him Bunty Station on YouTube

Dinner included 20 minutes of face making with 2-year-old in high chair…she loved Papi….

Lots of Creole woman servants here…and all have really long legs….form fitting white blouses…. and tapered tiny black skirts…old guy dream,…one winked at me tonight and asked where I was staying….but Papi be good…

Am all caught up….did laundry in sink….all expense accounting,…e-mails for next site (Antiqua)….and several hate e-mails to the morons in Washington…..

All I got…..